Automatic complaint generator: incoherent ranting made easy!

Ever feel the need to complain bitterly about someone or a company/organisation, but didn't have the time or motivation to compose a well thought out letter? Now you don't have to put any thought into it at all!

Some of you have said that I write about old news, in this case, Scott Pakin's automatic complaint generator has been churning out non-specific rants since 1994! Just type in a few details about who you want to complain about, and the generator handles all the rest. Here's an example of it complaining about me:


"After weeks of observation and reflection, I have finally reached the conclusion that Internet Catch Of The Day's principles have sincerely been demonstrated to be coterminous with those of conniving cheapskates. First, the misinformation: Internet Catch Of The Day suggests that its tracts epitomize wholesome family entertainment. Where the heck did it come up with that? Well, I'm sure Internet Catch Of The Day would rather promote a culture of dependency and failure than answer that particular question. I could do without Internet Catch Of The Day's throat-cutting rampages. Then again, that notion has been popular for as long as antidisestablishmentarianism has existed. To believe that Internet Catch Of The Day's selfish, obtrusive camp is a respected civil-rights organization is to deceive ourselves. Note that I need to spend some time considering how best to increase awareness and understanding of our similarities and differences. Of that I am certain because Internet Catch Of The Day's favorite buzzword these days is "crisis". It likes to tell us that we have a crisis on our hands. It then argues that the only reasonable approach to combat this crisis is for it to acquire public acceptance of its prissy views. In my opinion, the real crisis is the dearth of people who understand that Internet Catch Of The Day used to be a major proponent of phallocentrism. Nowadays, it's putting all of its support behind insurrectionism. As they say, plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. Let me point out that the reader who has followed me through this lengthy letter will have been able to gather an idea of Internet Catch Of The Day's general character and disposition. Hence, I shall conclude simply by stating that Internet Catch Of The Day's "compromises" should be recognized, but only as a complete fraud."


You can set the number of paragraphs you want it to output as well, so you can have longer letters to send to the editor of your least favourite newspaper, or perhaps to a politician you want to confuse.  Here's another example:


"I am not writing to agree or disagree with Internet Catch Of The Day. What I have to say, however, regards Internet Catch Of The Day's decision to replace love and understanding with immoralism and statism. To organize my discussion, I suggest that we take one step back in the causal chain and pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. Internet Catch Of The Day possesses no significant intellectual skills whatsoever and has no interest in erudition. Heck, it can't even spell or define "erudition", much less achieve it. Internet Catch Of The Day is interpersonally exploitative. That is, it takes advantage of others to achieve its own incomprehensible ends. Why does it do that? Fortunately for us, the key to the answer is obvious: If it were true, as it claims, that it is as innocent as a newborn lamb, then I wouldn't be saying that by offering hatred with a pseudo-intellectual gloss, Internet Catch Of The Day is telegraphing its intentions to rifle, pillage, plunder, and loot. The bottom line is that I have put this letter before you, without any gain to myself, because I care."


Now you put this to good use, and use your new found powers wisely send out complaints to any worthy targets you can think of!

How the generator actually works

Unleash the torrent of babble here

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